what does that mean?

So, what does our delivery experience mean??

1. There is something wrong with me.  The bleeding didn't happen twice for no reason.  They think there is something wrong with my blood.  I've been recommended to see a hematologist, to find out what may be wrong...  If I do have a clotting disorder of some kind, we need to know, in case of accidents where I am bleeding a lot, or major surgeries I may need in the future.
   
2. Chances are, we can't have more children...  We grieved when we found this out, and we still do.  We talked about this before we had Kai - "Hey, what if we just have two?  They'll be close in age and grow up together, and we'll be done!"  But now that I'm faced with the fact that we probably won't have any more kids, I realize I did want one more.  But Kris (& I do too) feels like the risk is just too high.  I don't think we're willing to risk me dying to have another baby.  It breaks my heart.  So, unless the hematologist can tell us that he can reduce the risk significantly, I guess we'll just be having two children.
   
3. It really... "renewed" the bond Kris and I have.  We've gotten SO close the past couple of weeks.  We can hardly be apart for very long, and it's a good thing he's working from home!  I think the experience reminded us of what we have, and it helped us appreciate it so much.  Emotionally, I think Kris was maybe more traumatized than me, as he had to watch me "almost die" twice now.  He's been such a wonderful, wonderful husband.  (more on that later, I'm sure.)

I'm sure there are more implications...  But those are what comes to me immediately.  It seems like my life got shaken around, and now I need to find out where everything landed.